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Sometimes a residential parent may question the benefits of the child (ren) visiting a non-residential parent. This concern may come from past experience and/or history of lack of contact between the parent and child (ren).
Seeing the visiting parent:
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Decreases the child (ren)’s feeling of rejection.
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Helps decrease the child (ren)’s fear of not seeing that parent again.
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Decreases the child (ren)’s self blame.
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Allows the resolution of some issues the child (ren) may have with that parent.
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Helps to continue the parent/child relationship.
In most cases, children benefit from having a continuing relationship with the non-residential parent.
It is important to talk to your child (ren) prior to the first parenting time, explaining whom he/she is going to see. Also, be sure to reassure your child (ren) that a visit supervisor will be present at all times. Allow the child (ren) to express any concerns and ask any questions. This is especially important if the child (ren) has not seen the non-residential parent for a long time. If you are unsure how to answer a question, staff at the J.O.Y. Center. may be able to help. Also, if the child (ren) has a special blanket or toy, feel free to bring it along. If your child (ren) is in diapers or uses a bottle, please send these items in a diaper bag.
Staff document in person or telephone conversations, arrival and departure times, and the content of parenting times/exchanges in a factual and non-opinionated manner. Staff also documents any inappropriate actions or comments that occur during an exchange or parenting time.
If supervised parenting times/exchanges have been court ordered or county contracted, copies of the written documentation during parenting times/exchanges and any other documentation by phone or in person must be obtained through the appropriate court channels.
There will be a $30.00 charge for all copies of written documentation/notes, which are acquired through an attorney and/or by a subpoena. This fee must be provided prior to receiving said material.
If supervised parenting times/exchanges have been court ordered through a Dissolution of Marriage Decree, Order for Protection or Harassment Order, copies of the written documentation during parenting times/exchanges and any other documentation by phone or in person must be obtained through the appropriate court channels. The file documentation will need to be acquired through the appropriate court channels. A $20.00 fee must be provided prior to receiving said material.
There will be a $.25 charge per copy for any additional items that need to be copied.
Any issues, concerns, upcoming activities, pertaining solely to the child (ren), (i.e. injury, illness, upcoming doctor or counseling appointments, sports or other extra curricular activities, weddings, reunions, forgotten toys/clothing), which one parent needs to convey to the other parent must be in writing and passed through the J.O.Y. Center staff. The written information must be positive and non-confrontational, and cannot contain stipulations to parenting time or it will not be passed. Passing notes/letters through the child (ren) is not permitted. Sealed envelopes are also not acceptable. A copy of the information will be retained in the parent’s file. Please refrain from verbalizing any issues/concerns in front of the child (ren).
If it is necessary to speak with staff regarding issues/concerns, wait until the child (ren) are not present or call the J.O.Y. Center prior to or after an exchange or parenting time. Parents are not to discuss adult issues such as court proceedings with their child (ren), make derogatory or negative remarks/statements about the other party or related family, nor discuss or make promises about future living arrangements or changes in parenting times in front of the child (ren).
Communication notebooks conveying information as to a child (ren)’s parenting time (i.e. activities participated in, injuries, illness, celebrations, naps) are permitted. However, this is not to be a means of communication between parties. If any negative, confrontational, or parenting time stipulations are written, the notebook will not be passed.
Decisions as to if and when court ordered parenting times could be unsupervised are not made by the J.O.Y. Center, but by the courts or Human Services. If visits are not court ordered, the decision to be unsupervised will be determined by the residential parent and the J.O.Y. Center Program Director.
Decisions as to when and if court ordered parenting times could be off-site are made by the court as stipulated in the court order or by Human Services Case Workers when there is Foster Parent involvement. However, if safety issues arise, the Program Director of The J.O.Y. Center will make the determination of the allowability of off-site visits. If the parenting times are not court ordered, the decision to go off-site will be made by the Program Director.
The length of supervised parenting times are determined per a court order, at the time of intake by the residential parent and the Program Director, or prearranged by a caseworker working with the family. The age of the child (ren), the past relationship between the parent and child (ren), how much time has passed since the last parenting time, and a history of the non-residential parents’ parenting skills are taken into account. Most times, the first and second parenting times are one hour long. This is done to reacquaint the family. If the parenting times go well, future parenting times may be lengthened. The maximum length of a supervised parenting time is three hours.
Please note that all parenting times are scheduled based on availability.
Both parties will be consulted to schedule arrangements.
It is quite common for children to act out after a parenting time with a non-residential parent. Children may feel many things after a parenting time such as confusion, anger, hurt, grief and loss. Young children do not have the capacity to label their feelings; therefore, they may act out their feelings in other ways. These ways include aggression, whining, clinging and/or temper tantrums. Although these expressions are bothersome, please do not assume that they don’t want to visit with their parent. Most children enjoy their parenting times at the J.O.Y. Center and the children are watched very carefully.
Children often have a difficult time with feelings of loyalty. They may feel they cannot tell their residential parent that they enjoyed their parenting time, because they feel it may be upsetting to that parent. This is especially difficult for children when there are a lot of bad feelings about the other parent.
Children will hold in these feelings, so they don’t hurt either parent. It is important that each parent be as supportive as they can about their child’s feelings towards the other parent, even if it means holding in some of the negative feelings they may have toward each other. If a parent finds it necessary to express negative feelings toward the other parent, please confide in a trusted adult when the children are not present. Parents may think their child is not listening when they are on the phone, but children are very curious about what is happening. When they hear negative things about either parent, it hurts them deeply, even though they probably won’t say so.
Every effort is made to ensure the safely of all who use the J.O.Y. Center. The staff is thoroughly trained and knows what to watch for and to intervene when it is appropriate. If your child (ren) is acting out and you feel concerned, please take the time to talk with your child (ren) about the feelings he/she is having. Staff is available if you have any questions.
After an exchange, children may also act out. Even if the parenting time went well, it is common for children to act out for the reasons given above.
Requirements:
- Copy of current MN driver’s license (must provide copy of new license when old one expires).
- Copy of current MN drives license for any other authorized individual transporting a child (ren).
- License plate number of vehicle.
- Picture (s) of the child (ren) (must provide new pictures by the first month of each year). Polaroid of each parent with child (ren) will be taken at first parenting time/exchange.
- Copy of the current court order (must provide any changes to existing order).
- $45.00 fee per intake (the fee is required before any parent time/exchanges will be scheduled and is non-refundable even if program services are not used).
The J.O.Y. Center will not contact either party to initiate intake or parenting times/exchanges. It is the responsibility of both residential and non-residential parent to contact the J.O.Y. Center to initiate intakes and parenting times/exchanges. For families who are court ordered, a parent, referral agency or foster parent may contact the J.O.Y. Center.
The J.O.Y. Center will conduct a separate intake interview with each parent or guardian, foster parent, or grandparent prior to the start of service. For the convenience of parents who live out of town, an interview may be scheduled just prior to the parenting program. The process will take approximately an hour and consist of going over the Program’s policies/guidelines, answering any questions, a tour of the facility, and relaying parking arrangements. A current address and phone numbers must be provided to the J.O.Y. Center at the time of the intake with an immediate reporting of any changes in the future.
To help the children better understand our services, the J.O.Y. Center will also provide a very brief intake with them prior to the date of first parenting time. Staff will introduce themselves, give the children a brief explanation of what the Program provides, and show them around the facility. We feel this will help lessen possible anxiety, fear or confusion that the child (ren) may experience.
The J.O.Y. Center will adhere to all court ordered parenting time and/or exchanges in correlation to the Program’s business hours. Both parties must provide a copy of the court order to the J.O.Y. Center. Staff must be informed by both parties if any changes are made to court orders. Parenting time/exchange schedules will not be changed without written documentation (new order) from the courts stating changes to be made.
If a request to change a scheduled parenting time or exchange is made, staff will consult with both parties. If both parties do not agree to the requested change, the change will not be made. Both parties will then need to consult an attorney. Only one request for change can be made per scheduled time. Emergencies do arise, and will be taken into consideration.
Scheduled appointments are very crucial. Children need to be brought to, and returned to, the J.O.Y. Center on time.
Make-up parenting times/exchanges will be provided on the condition of the J.O.Y. Center availability.
If there is a no-show by either parent, foster parent, grandparent for a scheduled Parenting Time/Exchange the fee must be paid by both parities involved.
Supervised Parenting Time Programs are non-profit services. Funding for these programs comes from public funding, charitable contributions and nominal fees. Because we believe in the important role the J.O.Y. Center plays in the parenting time or exchanges of your child (ren), we continue to work very hard at keeping the charges for these services minimal.
Currently, we charge each parent based on monthly income. For each exchange/an hour for supervised parenting time/visits. This payment is expected five (5) days before the time of each visitation or exchange. You will be given a white and yellow voucher. The white voucher is presented to the staff at the time of parenting time exchange/visit. The yellow voucher is yours for your records. Failure to keep your account current will result in notification to referring services.
If you have questions or concerns regarding the service fees, please feel free to contact The Director of the J.O.Y. Center. Situations with extreme financial hardship will be reviewed and possible scholarship arrangements may be made.
If a check is returned as non-sufficient funds, then all future parenting time and exchange fees must be paid by a money order or cash only basis. A $29.00 charge, as well as any fees incurred thereafter, will be applied for all checks returned for non-sufficient funds (NSF).
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